It's the end of summer, what?!

As always, summer has flown by and the realization that it is time to go back to work is hitting me hard.  It has been a very different summer for me this year.  Mostly because I had an expectation as to how things would go, and it didn't really meet those expectations.  But about a week ago, I decided that it was okay.  My summer was different than expected, but no less rewarding.

So what were my expectations?  Well, we have a pool.  So I thought I would spend my days by the pool, with friends and neighbors.  The pool broke.  Right at the beginning of one of the hottest summers in the last few years.  To say I was disappointed would be an understatement.  I was crushed.  I had no idea what to do with myself.  I felt like I didn't have a reason to have people over; so no parties, no impromptu invites to deal with the humid hot weather, no excuse to invite all the neighbors over.  I really didn't know what to do.  I had planned my whole summer around the pool.  Last summer had been a taste of life with a pool, this summer was going to be the whole meal.

Well it didn't turn out that way.  We tried to fix it, but this was no DIY, and experts cost more money than we could afford.

I also had to finish my masters.  I thought this would take a few weeks, working a couple of hours a day.  Boy, was I wrong.  My masters was all consuming.  I was working long hours, almost 6 a day to get it finished.  It took the whole summer.  I worked steadily right up to my due date on August 15th.  Partially this was due to unrealistic goals, and partially because of the "vacations" I took in June/July.

I spent two weeks in Colorado helping my sister take care of my two nephews.  My brother-in-law is a firefighter so he works crazy hours.  I then, spent a week on the east coast with my college girls.  It was great to see my family and friends, but it did take me away from my family, my home and my paper.  At first I felt stressed and guilty.  I often feel guilty, I think it is biological catholic guilt combined with being a teacher and mother.  I always feel like I am not doing enough.  I am my own worst enemy.  I am trying to work on this.  Guilt is a useless emotion most of the time, at least for me anyway.

So I tried to relax and enjoy the experiences.  It was great to be able to spend time with my nephews, they live so far away that I know I will probably never be able to spend this amount of time with them again, plus it feels good to help out family.  My sister is 5 years younger than me, and sometimes that gap felt like 10.  So it is nice to be able to connect with her and get to spend time with her kids and husband.  I missed my family, 2 weeks is a long time to be away, but it was worth it.

Getting to see my college girls was beyond cathartic.  Life is hard, and we all struggle .  I think it can be easy to forget this as you scroll through your Facebook newsfeed and see everyone's picture perfect life.  No one wants to post about all the shitty times in our lives, we just show the good parts.  But believe me, behind all those perfect pictures lie insecurities, family disfunction, health issues, hurt feelings and break-ups.  In a lot of ways our long weekend at The Cove House was therapy.  We all needed to share the hard stuff, to know we are not alone in our struggles.  We needed to cry, to listen and to reconnect.  I miss my girls everyday.  I was very lucky to find them, and even luckier to still have them in my life.  Even strong women need help and support sometimes.  I am glad we have each other to turn to.  (See full post here)

So with all of the time away, and time spent on my paper.  I felt cheated, like I didn't get enough summer.  Not only was there no pool, now there was no time.  So I sulked for a few days.  Once I got that out of my system, I needed to re-asses my goals.  As you may recall, I made a list of goals at the beginning of the summer (See full post here)

My first goal was to finish my masters.  Well I did that.  Success is a great way to start.  So no more sulking, right?  I wrote a 100 page paper with over 40 sources, and 10 appendices.  This is no small feat.  It might of taken my whole summer, but it is done.  So I need to celebrate.  I think I forgot about that.  I was just too concerned with what I was missing, I forgot to feel good about what I did achieve.  This is why goal setting can be helpful. Remind yourself what you were working towards, and reward yourself for your achievements.

Anyway, my second goal was to finish the kitchen.  So that is what I set out to do.  I actually achieved quite a lot and will be putting out a post about that really soon, I promise.

Goal number 3?  Well that was to blog more.  I definitely did more than I had all year, but a lot of posts are in draft form.  So I need to keep working, but I feel good about where I am.  Bi-weekly is the goal for the fall, wish me luck!

Goal 4 and 5 just didn't happen.  We weren't able to finish the sunroom or build any outdoor furniture. The sunroom floor project got started, but we just ran out of time.  Hopefully we can still finish that this fall.  We will have to see.  I never plan on getting anything done in September, I am just too crazy busy with school starting.  So who knows if and when the floors will get done.

Goal 5 was to vacation.  Well I did that, with more trips than expected.  Besides my trip to Colorado and Maine, the whole family went to Ootsburg, Wisconsin and spent the weekend on the beach with our children's honorary grandparents Jo and Bruce.  We had a great time!  The kids got to camp out on the beach, have s'mores by the camp fire and swim, swim, swim.  It was a beautiful time with beautiful people.

Goal 6 was to sell our old house.  You remember that house?  I loved that house, but now I would like nothing better than to be rid of it.  We were planning on selling it to our old neighbor.  That fell through, so now we are in negotiations with some investors.  So let's hope we close the deal and we make a little money.  I want nothing more than to cross this off my list!

My last goal was to organize.  I know this doesn't sound like a super exciting goal, but it is a necessary one.  In order to be able to work on all my fun crafting projects, I need to be able to find my supplies.  Nothing is more annoying than starting in on a project, and then wasting a bunch of time looking for stuff.  Believe me, I have had several days like this. So I have been working with a label maker, and washi tape to find a place for things, and then label where it goes so I can find it again.  That is the goal anyway.  Sometimes I think my husband purposely tries to thwart me on this goal, by just shoving crap is any random drawer he can.  I love him, but my goodness, he is the most unorganized person I know.  Wait, I take that back, unorganized adult, not person, besides me of course.  Actually, I really love organizing, I just don't have a lot of time to dedicate to doing it.

I have to say together, Nick and I are pack rats.  We just have so much stuff.  Most of it is really cool stuff, there is just too much of it.  But we hate to get rid of things, we may need it in the future.  At least that is what we tell ourselves.  So I rearranged my craft room a bit, created some more storage and labeled, labeled, labeled.  I also reorganized the kids rooms and the basement a bit.  More posts on those to come.

Now there is one goal that I should have made.  Spend more time with my kids.  This is really what I spent those last two precious weeks of summer doing.  I didn't spend time with friends, go out to eat or drinks or whatever else I felt like I should be doing.  I hung out with Juniper, a lot.   She is almost 8.  I can't believe how old she is.  We spent time at coffeeshops, the library, going on bike rides and crafting.  I don't regret a single thing I wasn't able to get done, because this was a wonderful way to spend my summer.  Sullivan was at school 3 days a week, so we got a lot of Sully-free time.  Don't get me wrong, I love Sullivan, but he can be a handful, just ask his teachers :)

We also got to know a whole lot of our neighbors.  We are really loving our new neighborhood.  As a white couple with two small children, we are a minority.  We have a very diverse neighborhood, with people of all ages and ethnicities.  Juniper has made friends with two families where Grandma is home with the kids during the day.  Neither grandma speaks any English.  So we do a lot of nodding and smiling.  Juniper has also helped to create an all girl bike gang in the neighborhood.  She learned to ride a two-wheeler which in turn inspired some other neighbor girls to take off their training wheels too.  So nightly you can see them riding around the neighborhood, sometimes with Sullivan trailing behind on his, way to small for him, tricycle.  

We have bonded more with neighbors we already knew, as well as meeting new neighbors.  We have also tried to participate in local events like the Mekong Night Market and National Night Out.  I was hoping to get people together at our pool, but it seems all I really needed was an outgoing Juniper to bring the neighborhood together.  She is one precocious little girl, and I am so lucky to be able to spend these past few weeks just hanging with her.

So all in all, I am sad to see summer go, as always.  But I am excited for what fall brings: new students for me, new school for the kids, and new goals for the entire family. Stay tuned...

Until next time,

Nora